The Make-Over Marriage: Those Tricky Expectations
The romantic investment in marriage is huge and so is the pressure. Couples trap each other with the expectation that each person will be “made over” and all their problems will be solved.
Excerpts from Lesbian Marriage: A Love and Sex Forever Kit…
Marriage is not the remedy for couple trouble! But there is a lot of magical and wishful thinking about it: marriage will give you a new start, fix your problems, fulfill your dreams… It’s the myth of the “Make-Over Marriage.” (Should we call it MOM?) The romantic investment in marriage is huge. And so is the pressure. Couples trap each other with expectations, especially if some or all of their friends have already stepped up to the altar.
Who will pop the question? When will you pop the question? Are you saying our love isn’t good enough? That I am good enough to be your partner but not your spouse? Prove to me that you love me by marrying me. Show me that you stand behind me and accept me with all my unsolved problems for better or worse.
Of course you want to begin again and be reborn a better person than you were a minute ago. Behind every oath and vow, there’s a wish to rise again from your ashes…
Marriage is a trickster. It’s a new challenge for lesbian couples who might feel that now, as we may, we must.