Separation and Divorce
Lesbian Relationships Ending
Q: Is there a way to reconcile after a separation?
A: Of course. Based on our own experience, we have developed many tools for lesbians who are facing this possibility. Sometimes a separation brings back all the values and gifts the relationship held for you from the start. And, it gives you the opportunity to leave out of the relationship those aspects of it that may have driven you apart.
Q: Is there a way to separate/divorce without becoming enemies?
A: There certainly is, and it may require the help of a third person, someone who can hold both points of view tenderly and with understanding. If only one of you wants to divorce, the situation is obviously more painful for both of you and each of you will need help experiencing and expressing this. Again, the goal is coming to a full understanding of each individual’s needs. Always remember, there may be an unknown and yet undiscovered compromise. Sometimes peace and well-being are negotiable. “I will give you what you need now, in exchange for you giving me something I need.”
Q: If you can’t reconcile, do you have to divorce?
A: You have a choice. You can take a time out to reconsider. You can separate before you divorce. You can seek help with the relationship and also realize that a reconciliation you can’t achieve right now, may be right around the corner whether or not you divorce.