Forgiveness

Lesbian Relationships Problems

Q: Is everything forgivable?
A: Yes and no. Everything that is fully understood tends to be forgivable. Things that are honestly and truthfully confessed lead to understanding and therefore to forgiveness. One has to remember that one starts by forgiving oneself for one’s imperfection.

Q: What if you just can’t forgive?
A: Ask yourself if you have really learned the truth, understood it, and if so, what precise aspect of it feels unacceptable. Is that something you yourself need to work on, too? Often, it is.

Q: What if she has an affair and you are married?
A: An affair is usually the most difficult emotional challenge in any relationship. It doesn’t have to destroy or end the relationship. It does not have to be experienced as a betrayal of the relationship. We ourselves have gone through this and have learned ways to be together through the pain of it. See more in our book.

Q: Is there a way to reconcile after a separation?
A: Of course. Based on our own experience, we have developed many tools for lesbians who are facing this possibility. Sometimes a separation brings back all the values and gifts the relationship held for you from the start. And, it gives you the opportunity to leave out of the relationship those aspects of it that may have driven you apart.