“Kim Chernin is a gifted therapist. I worked with several therapists prior to seeing Kim and I was surprised at how quickly she was able to co-create a deep and healing sense of safety and connection between us. She’s astute, quick-witted and equally important, she has deep reserves of empathy and compassion. She listens not only to what you are saying but also to the deep yearning underneath your words.  While she always took me seriously, Kim’s ability to be playful and humorous amidst the worst of my suffering was profoundly healing. I highly recommend Kim. She’s a loving and experienced guide who will journey with you wherever you need and want to go.”

C.A., San Francisco

“Kim Chernin manages to awaken each of us to the hidden parts of our soul and psyche that have denied our own responsibility for the continued suffering on this planet.”

Rabbi Michael Lerner, Berkeley

“I have worked with Renate, off and on, for several years – about personal and work issues. She has been immensely helpful – she is smart, straight forward, intuitive, and yet down to earth – a great sounding board, and a tremendous support when things were tough.”

Dr. Anne, Oakland

“Working with Renate was one of the most rewarding times in my life. My contact with Renate started when my lesbian relationship started to unravel, and with her guidance, it did not. Over a four-year period, Renate went from being my counselor to my writing coach and, finally, to my provost, all because she ignited my desire to learn and write. Renate was my way companion for those four years – she creatively showed me the way from there to here.”

Kathleen Depuyt, Santa Rosa

Renate Stendhal has been my counselor for many years. She seems to always have a uniquely wise and humorous perspective on the many waves of life through which we all must navigate. Her loving solidity and common sense have helped me through countless crises and she is a true friend.

Jai Uttal, Fairfax

“We’d always be fighting, my partner and I, until we started seeing Renate. It took some time but now we rarely fight, but when we do we fight fairly and we forgive. It makes such a difference.we couldn’t have done this alone.”

Karen S., San Francisco

“You think couples have to go together if they want a better relationship. My wife didn’t like it, but we wanted to stay together for the kids until they were out of school. so I started going by myself because Renate always said if one person changes, everything changes. I thought, I can do it, and I did. Renate was right. I learned how to stand up for myself and it did change everything.”

Jonas T., Mill Valley

“Something stuck with me that Renate said, that insanity is when you always keep doing the same thing and always expect a different result! That’s what we did in our couple. We drove each other nuts, especially over money and who made the money and who spent it. From talking to Renate, and we talked a lot, we understood that we were just not a match. Why keep at it? It made no sense, and we worked out how to separate and still remain friends. We are so grateful for Renates guidance, and she stayed with both of us equally every step of the way.”

Kyra J., San Rafael

For more testimonials for Kim Chernin, click here.

For more testimonials for Renate Stendhal, click here.



“The book’s bottom line is also its very first: “You care about your marriage; you want to keep your love alive and passionate.” With warmth, wit and a wealth of wisdom, this refreshingly realistic look at relationships is perfect for any marriage: gay or straight, legal or not. Designed for couples just starting out as well as those who have been together for eons, the guide’s practical 6-by-8-inch format makes it perfect to keep stashed in a backpack, glove compartment or nightstand.” San Francisco Examiner

“When you have a sex and marriage guide co-written by award winning best selling authors, life coaches and relationship experts, AND they’ve been together for 28 years – you can be pretty assured you’re getting the good oil on how to make your relationship last.” Curve Magazine

“Partners and co-authors Chernin and Stendhal offer a savvy, sprightly and refreshingly down to earth guide for those married or contemplating taking the plunge.” Lavender Magazine

“No pressure is exerted on couples to be sexual. Instead, the overall intention is to help us ‘recover the body’s lost capacity for pleasure,’ which means being open to a multitude of ways of expressing affection and intimacy.” Lesbian Connection

“I like surprises. And (almost) nothing is better than a good book that takes me to an unexpected place.” Huffington Post

“Smart, honest, amusing and with plenty of light-hearted drawings, Lesbian Marriage is one of the first books I’ve seen that deals primarily with lesbians who have officially tied the knot. Tired of preachy, overly long relationship manuals that aren’t any fun to read? Then pick up a copy of Lesbian Marriage. Parts of it are designed like a comic book, reminding me of Dykes to Watch Out For: The Marriage Edition.”  She Magazine

“In this book, couple Kim Chernin and Renate Stendahl take on the subject of keeping sex alive in a long-term, committed relationship—a complex endeavor at best—and somehow manage to make it seem entirely achievable. Chernin and Stendhal’s tone in Lesbian Marriage: A Sex Survival Kit is sometimes thoughtful (“maybe what we have humorously called ‘lesbian bed death’ stands for a general condition”) and sometimes humorous (“Are you among those who approach love making like a lusty bear, pawing and grunting happily and not uttering a word?”), but always direct, accessible, and entirely candid. The way they’ve structured the book—allowing women to speak for themselves in a casual, conversational way rather than telling their interviewees’ stories on their behalves—makes it fun, refreshingly varied read; the tools they offer to help readers take on the twelve “Challenges” they examine, meanwhile, are spot-on. Every lesbian couple—perhaps every couple, period—should have this straight-shooting guide on their shelf.” Brooke Warner, She Writes Books

Read this and more book reviews by clicking here.